Until I was a Mom...

Ever pause for a moment and think about what you just said to your kids. Here's a few things I never thought I would say...until I was a Mom.

"Take the pot of your head..."

"Now where would you like your tattoo...face or hand"

"Use the diaper to wipe your nose..."

"Get that bone out of your mouth..."

"Stop licking the doorknob..."

"Don't forget your underwear..."

"Did you use soap with the washcloth?..."

"Everyone stop what your doing and search for the measuring spoons..."

"FREEZE! DON'T MOVE..." (said very loud in a retail store...boy, did that get looks)

"Shoes off ears, please..."

"The neighbor's kid..." (the answer I gave to my kids when they asked me which child that I liked best...I laughed out loud at that one - they did not find that funny)