A really fun trip...

This past weekend I took the two little ones up to the great city of Minneapolis to go to a Regional swim meet for my daughter.  It's really rare that I have only 2 of my 4 kids with me going out of town, and even more rare that we were without Dad as well.  He been on a mission lately to follow his college basketball team (Kentucky) around the nation so we have a tendency to "lose" him a lot during championship basketball season.  He just adores going to the games.  Can't say that enough.  That's okay though.  After 22 years of marriage, I'm pretty use to it.  

Anyway…..

So I left the older two with Grandmom and her fiancé (more on that on another post) this weekend.  They seem to be in good hands there and so the little ones and I packed up the car and away we went.  The first thing my youngest daughter said to me was…."can we go to the Mall of America?"

Why of course she did.

What 10 almost 11 year old wouldn't want to go to a 5 story mall filled with any store you can think of, an amusement park filled with roller coasters and even a log ride, an 18 hole putt-putt golf course and my favorite, a maze of mirrors thingy you could go to.  That was where I drew the line though.  Me, mirrors and a maze put together just spelled disaster in my book.  So nope.  Not going in there.

So leaving early friday we headed to the mall to spend the day.  It was fun.  I'm not a "mall person" but I can really appreciate the vastness of everything there.  It was nice just to enjoy the things that the two younger ones love and not have to worry about the daily grind of life in general.

When it was all said and done, we were exhausted and happy.  What more could you want.

On Saturday and Sunday, my daughter swam in a regional swim meet.  She did awesome!  Her Medley relay got first and on many of her events she came in second and even third.  In the region.  I'm so proud of her.  They ran an extremely fast meet.  In less than an hour she swam five events both days.  She was worn out.  But oh so happy.  Way to go my little noodle!

It's called grace….

Teenagers.

(….long exhausted sigh….)

That says it all.

They test you and try your patience.  They make you laugh.  They are confusing and you blame their fashion sense on some crazy distant relative.  They can be loud and then a moment later quiet and moody.  They send you to your knees so often asking for guidance and wisdom.  They make you think….what happened?  What did I do wrong?  And then again, how did I get that right?

Teenagers.

How do you let go of a hand that you've held onto for so many years?  How….

This is what this is all about.  Letting go.  I have cried out to my heavenly father so often asking for the right guidance that my knees are worn down.  I am running out of time with them.  Panicked.  I blinked and they turned old on me fast.  In my mind they are still so young.  A time when they asked me for help.

Now….

Now, we battle more often than not.  And I am left to try and make sense of what happened.  Where did I go wrong?

But the truth is that this is God's way of allowing a parent to let go.  At some point you have to throw your hands up and let God take control of this.  Which if you were really truthful with yourself, would know he's had it all along.

My husband reminded me of the story in the bible of the prodigal son.  That son wanted his inheritance early and much to the father's disappointment, he allowed the son to take his money and leave.  On his own.  To do his own thing.

Letting go.

I can feel that man's pain.  The letting go part is the hardest.  Allowing them to make their own mistakes.  To fall flat on their face and for once, you not catching them.

But the story did have a great ending.  The son returned to a father who still adored him no matter what he had done.

And that's where we'll be.  In the end.

My husband and I welcoming our children back with open arms no matter what they've done.  Over and over again.  Because that's what God does for us.  Over and over again.  Welcoming us back.  No matter what we've done.

It's called grace…..

Going vertical….

Wait?!  Is that our house?

I crested the hill on the way to our farm and there in the distance was our house.  It sits on top of a hill in the middle of our farm.  We angled the house so we could overlook the orchard.  In the spring it will be beautiful with all of the apple blossoms in bloom.  For now, you see miles of beautiful farmland all around.

The last time we went out to our farm was a little over a month ago and they had just poured our basement.  Trust me….it's a little bit hard to "see" a house when all you've got is concrete.  But now.  Now, we are going vertical.

The framers have been working for a couple of weeks and I'm pretty sure they have never seen a grown woman squeal so loudly with delight at wood and some kind of builder's wrap thingy all put together in a neat package we affectionally call our farmhouse.

"Homeowner."  I heard one of them say as he pointed over his shoulder.

Me?

Well….I just couldn't stop smiling.  It is absolutely beautiful.  At least to me it is.  And it's just getting started.

No one ever said that it was gonna be easy….

Well, I can finally say that we have officially moved into our rental.

It. Was. Not. Easy.

We moved in the pouring snow one day and in the single digit temps the next.  Talk about cold.  After a few seconds your face hurts and then you worry after an hour that it no longer hurts.  I would have probably panicked more about our situation, if it weren't for the fact that we crawled our way into the bed each night out of sheer exhaustion.  And I didn't have the energy to even think about it.

Now it's a matter of unpacking only what we need and storing the rest in the basement.  We are squeezed into this rental and are learning a new motto for the next several months….."making it work".  It ain't pretty but it will all work out.

So if you'll excuse me I'm on a mission to find the checkbook.  Oh, and the dish soap.  And a pair of scissors.  And...

Well….who am I kidding.  I've lost my mind too, but I'm not looking for that anymore.

Calling for snow….

Really?

Wednesday.  The day our moving van will be here.  The forecast….snow.  Really?  Right then? Couldn't come a day earlier or a day later?  Just goes to show you whose in control…..and it's not me.

We are scrambling to get things done these last couple of days and still have some kind of order in our lives.  All of our boxes are moving to the garage to make this as easy and as fast as possible.  Beds are being taken apart and the last few things are getting crammed into cars and driven over to the rental.  

We're on the home stretch.  And it looks like it's gonna get interesting.

I love farmers. They keep things simple….

The best advice always comes from those people with experience.   Like farmers.  Simple, honest and straight to the point.

1. Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. 

 2.  Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. 

   3. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

 4. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. 

  5. Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. 

   6. Meanness don't jes' happen overnight. 

 7. Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

 8. Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. 

 9. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge. 

10. You cannot unsay a cruel word. 

11. Every path has a few puddles. 

12. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

13. The best sermons are lived, not preached.

14. Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway. 

15. Don't judge folks by their relatives. 

16. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

17.  Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time. 

18. Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none. 

 19. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.  

    20. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.  

21. Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got. 

  22. The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'. 

  23. Always drink upstream from the herd. 

  24. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment. 

  25. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in. 

 26. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

   27. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. 

What to keep and move or throw it away….

Packing.

Seems like such a time sucker if you think about it.  Some things take me just a moment to pack.  Like clothes.  Dishes.  Dog toys.  Others…..well, then I get stuck.  For a while.  In memories.

When you open every box, every drawer and look through every item in your house to pack, you find yourself coming across items you haven't seen in years.  Your third grade classroom photo.  Oh yes, I'm sporting some pigtails.  And no….not putting that picture up on here.

You. Are. Welcome.

My great-grandfather's carnegie medal.  It was awarded to him April 15, 1904 for his heroism in saving a boy's life.  The back of the medal says this, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends".  A little over 9,000 medals were ever given.  How cool is that.  And my great-grandfather was one of them.

Then there was my husband's grandfather's pocket watch.  Nobody ever carries these anymore.  I love it.  Classic.  Elegant.  And way cool.

Or a set of nesting dolls that my grandfather and grandmother gave to us after their many travels.  On the bottom of the dolls are stamped "Made in USSR".  Okay….I admit.  She is a little creepy.  But it was so cool to hear all their stories of their adventures when they came back.

Lost.

Lost in the memories.  Over and over again.  It's the notes of encouragement I saved after my father passed away.  His bible he always carried to church.  The college pictures.  Our wedding album.  The pictures of our first dog.  Letters my husband and I wrote to each other while away at college.  On and on it goes.

Packing.  Box after box.

I try to make a decision.  Quick….keep this and move it or throw it out.  Not everything can go.  But so many things.  Oh, so many things have wonderful memories.  Not to anyone else.  But to me and my husband.  

Goofy ones.  Ones that make me laugh out loud even to this day.  Ones that ground me to a moment that's hard to forget.  I can hear it now one day my kids will say….man, I'm not sure why Mom and Dad ever kept this old thing.

But one day.  One day.  They will understand.  They have to make their own memories.  Figure out what means the most to them.  Live their life.

And figure out what to keep and move or throw it away.