My father's hat...

It's amazing how your world can change in a split second. Three years ago today...my father died of a heart attack. There were no goodbyes...no last I love you...no one more minute. You are left with only the memories...nothing else. We buried my father on Good Friday that year and I knew that every Good Friday after that I would relive that day...that very long, hard day in my mind. That's how memories work...

This year...the day my father died and Good Friday are one in the same. To me...it's twice as hard. I wish..oh, how I wish...I could talk to him. I have so much to tell him...how much the kids have grown...about our adoption...just to sit with him for a little while longer. Unfortunately, I'm left with nothing more than memories and a few items left of my father's...one of which is my father's hat. My father loved to wear this hat. It's tattered and dirty and no longer smells like my father...but it's his.

So while we celebrate Good Friday today...I can't help but think of my two fathers who are up in heaven looking down on me...my heavenly Father and my earthly father. I love the verse from Ephesians 2: 9 which says "And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus..." I like to picture my father sitting up there in heaven...just waitin' for me to get there.

Until then...I'll be down here...holding on tight to my father's hat...